Category: Pregnancy thoughts


Let’s face it

I shall be frank to myself.

I’m not at all THAT excited. I dont know what to expect emotionally, being a second time mother. I do love my child. But i don’t feel the bond, yet. I shall give myself some time on this. Maybe i need to see him face to face, lots of cuddles, observe him from left to right and top to bottom (if needed, i might need to flip him back and front), make statements of how the nose/mouth/forehead resembles mine or hubby’s in order to ‘click’ with him. But at the mean time, i don’t feel that connected. I love him for he’s my child, residing in me at the moment. But it’s not that intense.

I’m worrying over confinement matters whether or not my mother in law can handle everything alone since my mom isn’t planning to come over to Kuching to help. My MIL will be officially retire from her 29 years of teachings on 31st May 2010 and that will be when we all need to get ready for me to go into labor ANYTIME. I haven’t decided whether to go natural or do the Caesarean thing all over again but the latter will stand the bigger chance according to my gynae. If this is what it will look like, i might as well head on with C-sect without second thought. Book a date and just go for it. Save me worrying all so much.

I’m not at peace with myself. I have so many struggles, worries and thoughts of choices in me while another part of me tells my heart to go with the flow. My mood really fluctuates more frequent towards the end of pregnancy (third trimester) and to top it off, all the sore back and body parts are really worsening the situation….

Oh God…….just let the time goes quicker these two months will do. Thanks.

I had a short conversation with a church brother yesterday in the cry room. Since I was interested to take up Disciple II class again after I abandoned it half way through when I was in Perth, I asked him for the class commencement date and he replied me it would be after Chinese new year. I was more than excited to reply him yes and I want to complete it very much this time round. I asked for ‘permission’ from husband, eagerly hoping he would give me a green light to go ahead with the plan.
Dear husband reminded me, “How can you take it this year when you’re going into labor soon. How about the one month confinement and expected 2-3 months down the track when we all will be very occupied with baby businesses?!”
Believe me. I didn’t mean to TOTALLY forget that I am 5 months pregnant when I first enquire about it.

Baby no.2 officially reached gestation age of 20 weeks and 6 days on 27th Jan 2010 (yesterday), that is 5 months plus. As scheduled, i went to do my every-pregnancy-routined-detail-scan with a very capable (not to mention being smart and tall and well built, haha) doctor at Kuching Specialist Hospital. Thank God things go well with baby no.2 and by the end of the checking, the smart doctor gives my baby a 95% for being so well behaved and healthy! Doctor told me not to expect any doctor to give me any higher mark than that since no one can really “guarantees” how one will turn out to be. So, there, my baby scores the highest mark in the room. Being the only one in the room, that is.

Now, for those who doesn’t know what the detail scanning is about, i shall briefly go through the procedures with you all here. I shall emit the medical terms because, really, if i know them i wouldn’t be doing what i am doing right now. ^_^

First of all, it all starts with the checking of shape and size of the head skull and make sure the skin surrounding the head is developing well. Any openings will be considered abnormal. Then, the fluid, cerebrum and other little parts in the brain are checked for their existence and ensure they’re suffice in quantity (the ultrasound machine does the job really well!). Then, doctor ensures that ears are present and well developed. Move downward to the neck all the way to the end of the spinal cord (the backbones). This one is extremely important too to make sure there’s NO opening seen because if there is, anything in the body might be squeezed out or anything outside will go in so NO GOOD! And if really it happens, it is a major operation as well. So young pregnant mothers must ensure they take folic acid every single day throughout the pregnancy so that to minimize the chance of development of defected spinal cord and backbones. Doctor will then check the tummy of the baby to make sure all the organs stay intact and are present in correct positions, muscles to separate the diaphragm and the heart are developed, livers, stomach, blood flows in and out of the organs are all checked into very fine details. Heart is checked for all the 4 chambers and no opening between the wall of the chambers and that blood flows in and out of the 4 chambers have to be in the correct orders.

The placenta, the adequacy of liquor/amniotic fluid, blood flows in and out of the placenta through the umbilical cords, position of the placenta are all to be checked. Then, all the limbs are scanned for well development and doctor will measure the femur length (the thigh bone) to estimate the size and weight of the baby and from it, to plot on the growth chart whether or not the baby is under-developed or advance in the development thus doctor can predict (from the chart), by the time of labor, how big and heavy the baby will be. To me, these are all too amazing. I learn so much just from the scan. As for my baby no.2, the physical development is advanced by 1 week! =P Doctor predicted that if i continue my eating regime and lifestyle until labor, i’m gonna have another 3.4++kgs baby!! Another heavy and long baby to be expected. Hahah!

Baby’s face is then checked for two eye sockets, nose bridge, two nostrils, upper and lower lips (make sure no cleft lip presents). After all the scanning done in black and white, he then let me see the baby in 4D (in sepia color tone and the baby is moving at the same time) on the monitor. It’s all so clear and vivid in front of my eyes. He also took some 3D “photos” for me to keep in my album. Awww~I can’t wait to see my baby no.2 now, well, not now. Hopefully in another 17 weeks when it’s the time.

Of course, the whole detail scan learning process is too much for me to grasp just within 45 minutes and i’m gonna miss some of the things he told me. He told me something about “no notching found” and that means blood flows from my body to the placenta (should be the placenta if i’m not wrong) are good! That means baby is getting enough nutrients to grow and grow and GROW! Happy big baby.

I’m all too glad now to be sure that my baby is healthy (and happy..i know because of the kicks all the time). And doctor also said that since he can give 95% normal and healthy to baby at this time, the baby will NOT become abnormal after i go home or anytime up until delivery. The baby has developed everything he/she needs to have and from now on, he/she will just grow in size for that healthy chubby fats to fit in.

Mommy, daddy and jie jie wait for you, my dear. Stay healthy and happy and keep those kicks coming in! ^_^

I feel odd. I can’t feel myself again. I throw up mostly after the noon and later in the evening, unlike first time that i could eat whatever i want. I get so exhausted that i fall asleep on office chair in the noon. I have back pain now and then.

Amazingly, my body was well-trained in the past one year. I can still mop the floor, pick up my 11 kgs girl, rock her to sleep at night, do house chores and afterall, stay alive during the day. I’m blessed.

Hang in there..

I keep hearing this especially in the last stretch before i reach home run. “You are here already so hang in there. There isn’t long to go..” Husband, friends, and this morning, even my gynae told me so. So, hang in there I am now!

More updates on Chloe Au at gestational age 38w3d, shall we?

  • Plump with lots of healthy baby fats – Ticked!
  • Looks terribly adorable and hugs-irresistible - Ticked!
  • At a healthy weight range of 3.213kgs – Ticked!!
  • Heading even more southward for the glorious D-day – Ticked!
  • Giving her mama lots of disco-kicks and squirms and give her sleepless nights – Ticked!!!
  • Likes having bath – Ticked!
  • Likes to be touched and tickled – Ticked!
  • Likes to give her mama some help when she’s clearing her bladder – Ticked!! (thank you my babe)
  • Lots of actions all day round – Ticked!

See? She’s such a cutie pie and i’ll love her to the end of the world for that! Head out my girl and mama will give you a real big smooch, you little adorable!!

This morning, i woke up with a troubled heart. I’ve decided on the matter left undecided in the past two weeks at wee hours this morning. It’s odd that after i hit the 3rd trimester, i always wake up about 4-5 a.m. and those undecided important matters/forgotten tasks will just flash through my mind for some decisions to be made (yes, at that hour). Then, i go back to sleep.

I’m so heavy hearted to have made this decision but if nothing is happening within this week, something important will be scheduled in the week to come. 

With this decision, I’ll just be very disappointed that my body might not be doing what it’s supposed to be doing. Nevertheless, I still keep that little hope and prayers up for something to happen miraculously on its own this week.

Allow me..

for my mood swing again, before delivery. Waiting game is never easy especially for someone like me! Due to lousy night sleeps, my mind starts to wander off..

Reminder..

Hi all my dear friends and relatives,

Thanks for the reminders that keep coming in to me like those high priority business emails at this stage of time. I know you’re all very concerned with my belly, with my baby and mostly, with me being “afraid or not” since i’m literally standing at the verge of the delivery cliff, jumping off it anytime when the time is here.

I’m here to reply to your all concerns that i’m not afraid or should i put it this way that i actually can’t put myself in that position to expect anything that is going to happen in the delivery room, where usually all the screams come from as first of all, i’m a first timer. Call me a dumb but i would like to be a dumber this time to go in there without knowing anything from you all (from your past experiences) beforehand. Secondly, i’m opting for natural delivery and for the experience to be less painful for me, i really need to relax myself. You ask me if i can do it, I’ll just tell you i have no idea. But all over the internet, information is telling me to:

Reducing Your Pain In Childbirth

Pain is the word most associated with labor. Women go to great lengths to deal with the discomforts of childbirth. They attend classes, buy products, read books and talk to their friends. However, relaxation is the one essential ingredient, often overlooked, which helps with the reduction of painful contractions. When Moms have fear in labor, their body tenses. When there is tension (opposite of relaxation), there is pain. Relaxation takes away the fear, therefore, reducing tension and pain. You can’t have relaxation and tension at the same time. (<– yeah! I mean this)


Relaxation exercises help a mother desiring either a medicated or a natural childbirth. The pregnant mom has to take responsibility before labor to prepare for her birth by practicing relaxation. The more the woman practices before delivery, the faster she can draw upon relaxation when she needs it, making her labor quicker and easier. (<– and this)

(Information courtesy taken from http://www.firsttimepregnancy.com/163.html)

 

Now, should i let myself go frantic with worries listening and absorbing to your previous painful child birth experiences or should i just be doing what the information tells me?

Thank you for all the good vibes and encouragement but i think i should be doing just fine with my husband and daughter in the delivery room by the end of the day. Thankss!

Will keep you all posted with the good news once i’m ready~

A love letter

As you can see, i’m in it and surely, i can’t help myself but to ponder upon pregnancy thoughts once again.

I think as i’m getting nearer to the D-day, i should really write my bladder a love letter so that it doesn’t leave me altogether when i’m going to give birth to Chloe. It’s just so suffering for my poor bladder at this stage to endure the tremendous weights from the 1000 times expanded uterus from its original state, including the all the contents in there.

My dear bladder, let me assure you that all these are gonna be over very very soon, i promise. In 2-3 weeks time i’m sure. Please do not leave me as i’ll still need you after my baby is out, safe in this worldly world. I’m appreciating your effort every seconds in my life right now and please, please do stay with me for goodness sake.

Lots of love,

Your owner

亲爱的 ah B,

你预备好了吗?在这两三个礼拜内你就会来到这世上和爸爸妈妈见面了。你已经准备好了吗?

ah B, 每次你看到医生就变得很害羞总是用你的小手遮着小脸害得医生也无可奈何拍不到你的照片。怎么办?你爸爸好喜欢拍照哦~妈妈相信他以后一定会拍好多 ah B 你的照片。但 ah B 又不合作的话那该怎么办啊?伤脑筋哦~~

医生跟妈妈报告说 ah B 已经有 2.8 公斤的重量了。妈妈每天就载着 2.8 公斤西瓜般大的 ah B 走动。还好,我们的 ah B 不算是重量级的婴儿不然的话就为难妈妈了。医生也说 ah B 你现在所在的位置和姿势已经预备好了。就等待那么一天了!就等待着 ah B 成熟时~

床,车,床单,蚊帐,婴儿用品,衣服…..妈妈相信该准备的都已经准备好了。Ah B,好多的 auntie uncle 也都期待着你面世的那一刻。他们好关心 ah B 哦~害得妈妈有点吃醋呢!但无所谓啦~只要妈妈的宝贝女儿平安健康的出世那就是给于爸爸妈妈最好的礼物了。加油哦我的孩子~

 

爱你的爸爸和妈妈

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