Chloe at 18 months old

It has been 1 and half year since i gave birth to my girl, Chloe. And to that, she has never failed to amaze me over and over with her sharp observation and new trick performance every now and then. I realize she is a “problem-solver” as she loves to handle puzzles, figure out difficult (to her level) problem and look for the right solution (i.e. trying to figure out which is the right key in the bundle to open a door) and she’s very observant at what people are doing. She imitates right after you and that makes me really stress of being very careful what we do/say in front of her.

At home, she has her collection of toys and she has been “playing” with them since very young but those were all about biting and putting them into her mouth and creating mess for me to clean and tidy them up after she got tired of them. But recently (last night to be exact), she could recognize and identify ALL her shape sorters according to the shapes and colours without a miss!! I was in awe and i could feel my jaw dropped (literally) and my mind was completely blown away by her actions. She hugged the whole shape sorter’s “house” to me and requested me to open it for her. First I thought “Oh well, i’m going to have to tidy the mess up after you when you go to sleep later.” I opened it for her then i left her alone to play with it while i got the water boiled to make her milk before i tucked her into bed.

And yes, i came back to her jaw dropped! What was my baby doing?! Did my eyes play trick on me?! The amazement was simply too awesome to put into words. My nanny doesn’t teach her shape-sorting at her place so it’s like my past months’ effort to pitch her the idea how to sort the shapes accordingly all being worthwhile (over the night!). A gush of motherhood’s proud came rushing out and tears started to build up in my eyes. Overwhelmed and completely thrown over board! Suddenly i asked myself “Where has the baby who was gugu gaga-ing gone now?” She has grown older over the night. I shall miss the baby version of her and completely adore and appreciate every moment of her toddler version now on. I’m scared that i might miss out on her milestones development if i’m not paying attention to her for just one second.

Motherhood is a ride of roller coaster and i totally love it to bits!

I hope you enjoy the moment as much as i do ^_^

P/S:
1. On and off and depending on her mood, she can now say “How are you”, “I love you” and “I know..”. As for those “Hi”, “Bye-bye”, flying kiss, kiss daddy & mommy, keep calling “mami or mi” several times with her sweetest voice tone ever while staring straight into my eyes (these are old tricks that she uses to entertain us and to get away from her mischief!)

2. Somehow, i love her open & friendly attitude towards strangers and i keep saying she’s like an Australian! She waves or raised up her hand saying “Hi” to passerby and cars passing by. Sometimes, her friendliness really brings headache to the mom when she tries to make friends with other kids (whom the parents are not so open with the idea).

3. She’s very chatty! A chatterbox! But she still has a long way to go before one could really understand her ^_^

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom,

I never tripped over toys

or forgot words to a lullaby

I didn’t worry whether or not

my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,

I had never been puked on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,

I never held a screaming child so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots..

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got so gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,

I never held a sleeping baby just because i didn’t want to put her down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when i couldn’t stop the hurt.

I never knew that  something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that i could love someone so much.

I never knew that i would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,

I never knew the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn’t know that bond between a mother and a child.

I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok.

I had never known the warmth,

the joy,

the love,

the heartache,

the wonderment

or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn’t know i was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

(Borrowed from a friend’s blog at http://java-joy.blogspot.com to express my feeling “before I was a Mom”)

Second half year resolution

As the heading suggested, i’m revising my second half year resolutions. I’m in need of a remedy for a much better time management when i need to divide my time to look after 4 persons (husband, Chloe, Ian and myself) very soon. And that means, i need to sleep earlier like 10pm and wake up earlier at 7am. Then i have to wash up and get myself ready before i pull my husband and two kids out of bed and get them all ready by 8am the latest (assuming all goes well with no sickness and/or extraordinary items in the daily itinerary). Okay. Maybe another 15 minutes of extended time if needed.

By the time we’re out on the road to nanny, it might take us another 20 minutes (traffic jam accounted) and another 20 minutes drive to office (+/- time accounted). It will be about 9am when i reach my office and another 30 minutes spared for breakfast (somewhere near the office). I shall start working at 9.30am.

This is the most ideal routine that i could think of for now but practically, we shall see if this is going to work. I hope to have longer day time to spend and accomplish more in terms of family and work. I need to find the equilibrium between family, work and time for myself.

Salute to all mothers!

It’s time of the year again to recognize the effort and hard works of a mother “internationally”.

Personally, I do not think I’m qualified to celebrate this occasion myself since:
1. My girl is still too young to comprehend the meaning behind the worldly celebrated occasion;
2. I do not think being pregnant alone is qualified to celebrate mother’s day (some mothers know how to give birth but don’t know how to carry out their duties as a nurturer);
3. I think I’m still way far behind being a successful mom (as in children have grown up, been obedient and been successful in their undertakings).

After taking up the role of a newbie mom, I realize how much we as parents have to sacrifice for our children in terms of effort, time, energy and money. I can now understand and appreciate the hard works of all mothers and of course, my dearest mother. This is the true meaning and celebration of mother’s day. It’s not about having big feast or big gift or big celebration but it’s about appreciation in the heart that matters.

Mommy, Happy Mother’s Day! May God bless you abundantly with good health and a happy soul of all! Love, Helen.

P/S: My gift from Chloe on this special day are constant cheeky smiles on her face and 1.5 hours of undisturbed bliss of free-time (napping, that is).

Chloe, mommy wants to say….

Things are a little out of hands recently having piles and piles of payment vouchers and cheques and heaps of payments to suppliers every single ordinary day! My mind is all filled up with $$ and my eyes, @@ with $$ but unfortunately, those aren’t my money. I’ve been buried in works and works and more paper works from the minute i reach my desk until i make my way home at 6pm every weekday. I’m too busy. Too busy for others. Too busy to hang out with friends. Too busy to hang out, pamper and take care of husband. Too busy to even hang out, pamper and take good care of myself. Too busy to read Bible (oh God, please forgive me of this and i promise i’ll try starting from tomorrow morning). Too busy to eat my lunch. But, one thing that i’ll never be too busy with is to set a quality time to hang out with my precious daughter. In fact, she’s the one who bring the busy daddy and mommy together for a little moment in the evening. With both of us lying on the bed on both her sides, she giggles and laughs and i could feel that we are her world. She only needs us to be there by her side. There is a fact that she might not comprehend for the time being is that actually, she is our world.

How i love you my dear. The love i have for you has expanded tremendously. We were so near yet so far when you were in me. When you were finally out in this world, we were so far yet so near considering that we’ve just met each other. Like we’ve just made friends with each other and waited eagerly to know and understand each other. Now that we’ve get to known each other for 7 months, we are one good friends. Friends who can be relied on when we cry our cheeks wet. Friends who can snuggle into each other’s cuddles when needed. How marvelous and precious your every act, smile and laugh are to us. We’ve bonded well.

There was an occasion when you cried yourself awake one morning and daddy was there to hold and cuddle you. You stopped a while and continued crying for a bit while resting on daddy’s broad shoulder. When you saw me nearing you, you opened your eyes wide and your arms immediately asking for cuddles. My heart melted. At that instance, I know we need each other more than i could imagine. My love for you has expanded since the day you were still a tiny newborn to this day. It’s a love and that special relationship that are irreplaceable. We both know this, don’t we? Sleep well my dear for tomorrow you’re going to grow up a little, prettier a little and dearer a little.

But mommy hopes you're going to stay away from that green stuff when you grow up

New insight

It is oblivious that half a year had gone by since Chloe was out on that stormy, cold night. Sometimes when i come to think of it, it is unbelievable. Did i really survive that half year? Half year full of sleepless nights, baby cries, extremely exhausted body, dark & puffy eye rings, frequent & sudden fluctuation of moods? Come to think of it, it’s a blessing. This half year has given me a new insight of motherhood. What do i know about motherhood?

• It’s love. Unconditional love. Patience. Give and take.

Yea, these concludes it. Sounds easy but never, ever underestimate the power of love, tolerant level of patience and the importance of give and take between each family member (I.e. me, husband and baby).

爱～

请问你，爱是简单的吗? 根据圣经里对爱的定义，爱是一点都不容易啊。。

爱是恒久忍耐，不嫉妒，不自夸，不张狂，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义只喜欢真理。凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。爱是永不止息 。

又请问，以上你达成了多少样呢? 我自问不如。

恒久忍耐 － 恒不了久，也忍不了耐

不嫉妒 － 那有? 还不是偶尔嫉妒这儿嫉妒那儿的

不自夸 － 偶尔会小自夸一点，算吗? (算！）

不张狂 － 张狂? 让我想一想。。。其实不大明白张狂是指什么也。。。

不求自己的益处 － 那有那么无私的人啊～

不轻易发怒 － 唉～这我时常在相反的做着～*高兴* （不要脸，时常发怒有什么值得高兴的事吗?）

不计算人的恶 － 不好意思～我真的只计算人的恶。那有人计算人的好啊！

不喜欢不义只喜欢真理 － 这个嘛，有啦有啦。但是跟‘义人’的差距还差十万八千哩！

凡事包容 － 没有凡事，偶尔而已。。T_T”

凡事相信 － 我是软弱的所以做不到凡是相信。可能大多时候只有盲目的相信会比较容易吧。。想想其实很多人事物我都是盲目的相信着的。比较简单嘛…不用多想

凡事盼望 － 心情好是就有盼望，心情不好就失望，心情超级差就绝望咯～*唉唉唉*

凡事忍耐 － 老公说我的忍耐力超级差的咯～ T__T～但我也是这么认为

爱是永不止息 － 希望如此～

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

如果以上是考试题的话，那我就是永远都那零蛋的那位同学咯！

 

那，你呢? 分个享吧….

Life

How has motherhood and wifeyhood been treating me all this while?

Loves. Glees of joy. Worries. Frustrations. Wide opened blood-shot eyes middle of nights. Cries. Tears. Laughters. Entertainments. Satisfactions. Self fulfillments. Responsibilities.

It consists of everything one needs to go through, at least once, throughout the whole life. It’s a mixture of sweet and sour in the phases of life. It is an achievement that i will look back in life and smile to myself, knowing i’ve been through it with the important peoples in my life. My family.

A quote from Andrew Ho’s Weblog

A story about making the world a better place when we can’t save the world:

While walking along a beach, an elderly gentleman saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, picking up starfish one by one and tossing each one gently back into the water.

He came closer still and called out, “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

The old man smiled, and said, “I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?”

To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”

Upon hearing this, the elderly observer commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

The young man listened politely. Then he bent down, picked up another starfish, threw it into the back into the ocean past the breaking waves and said, “It made a difference for that one.”

Bear in mind that every little things we do everyday will/might make a difference to someone else.

Short note..

I’m not abandoning my blog. I simply can’t adjust my time round and make time for this. I’m still improving. Give me some time. (someone submitted her complaint already!)

New year resolutions:

1. Love myself – As i’ve said above, i’m still adjusting my time around and make some time for myself. Do something that i enjoy. Blog. Exercise. Laze around not doing anything productive. Eat healthily. Think positively.

2. Love my family – Easy to say than done. Of course, i love my husband and daughter but things get messed up sometimes and temper comes up from nowhere. Still improving. Love my husband more. Enjoy my daughter’s growing up milestones.

3. Work hard – Contradicting to the above but must work hard this year (and yet find quality time for myself). I’ve spent my previous year being pregnant and abandoning my works. So, one  year’s job to catch up with.

What’s your resolutions??

Happy New Year and Happy ‘Moo Moo’ Year for the Chinese!